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Many old professor types with white hair, thick glasses and bushy moustaches have pondered which song indeed has the dirtier lyrics, "Tie My Pecker To My Leg" by Mojo Nixon or "Piss Up A Rope" by Ween. Today kids, we will finally put the question to rest. But vote quickly, we hear that the Japanese are hard at work on it, and their answer willl be smaller, cheaper and work on all platforms....

here are the lyrics:

Mojo Nixon
Tie My Pecker To My Leg

Me yer momma and some other whore
Floatin' down the river on a shithouse door
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Dad's going steady with a pig in a barn
Grandma's gettin down with an ear of corn
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Watching mom shave her pussy really gets the kids hard
Grandpa's trying to fuck somethin in the front yard
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Sister is gettin rich on her 900 number
Four dime diddly bop given her best dog a hummer
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Reddog (Solo)

Well I'm a big dick daddy and a fuckin foo
Eleven years old and I went to pussy school
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Yeah, her asshole is tighter then a steel drum
Hell I'd eat a yard of her shit to watch her cum
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Simon (Solo)

You only live once, so off with them pants
Hell ain't for sure, it's only a chance
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Yeah, my gal's so fine, wanna suck her daddy's dick
If you saw my poon tang's face, you wouldn't give me no lip
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Woke up this morning with a case of stinky finger
Last night I must have been the designated drinker
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

I need a woman six foot ten
She's gotta be that tall so I could get it all in
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

Everybody Solo

Yeah, me yer momma and some other whore
Floatin' down the river on a shithouse door
gonna tie my pecker to my leg, to my leg
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

I'm gonna tie my pecker
tie my pecker
tie my pecker
tie my pecker
gonna tie my pecker to my leg.

____________________________________________________________

Ween
Piss Up A Rope

My dinner's on fire while she watches tv,
and if you ever wondered what it's like to be me,
she takes all my money, and she leaves me no smokes,
yells at my buddies and insults my folks.
I'm breaking my back, doing the best that I can
she's got timefor the dog, and none for her man.
And I'm no dope, but I can't cope,
So hit the fucking road, and piss up a rope.

You can piss up a rope!
And you can put on your shoes, hit the road get truckin'
Pack your bag, I don't need the ag
On your knees you big booty bitch start suckin'
You ride my ass like a horse in the saddle
Now you're up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.
And I can't cope, so piss up a rope!

You can piss up a rope, and feel the pissy dribble
You can piss up a rope, and watch me giggle
For the last 6 months, I've been packing your bag,
you can wash my balls with a warm wet rag
til my balls feel smooth and soft like silk,
I'm sick of your mouth and your 2% milk.
And I'm no dope, but I can't cope,
so hit the fuckin' road and piss up a rope!

You can piss up a rope!
And you can put on your shoes, hit the road get truckin'
Pack your bag, I don't need the ag
On your knees you big booty bitch start suckin'
You ride my ass like a horse in the saddle
Now you're up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.
And I can't cope, so piss up a rope!

You can piss up a rope!
And you can put on your shoes, hit the road get truckin'
Pack your bag, I don't need the ag
On your knees you big booty bitch start suckin'
You ride my ass like a horse in the saddle
Now you're up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.
And I can't cope, so piss up a rope!

_________________________________________________________________

Butt Trumpet
I've Been So Mad Lately

Shit fuck hell damn shit fuck shit
Fuck
Shit-for-brains asshole dickweed all right
You're a motherfucker and I hate you
Fuck shit hell damn shit fuck
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
I'm pissed
I'm pissed
I'm so pissed off
I'm so fucking pissed
You take everything and then you left me
You took all my shit you left me nothing
Now I'm getting really angry
I feel like I'm gonna fucking explode
You think you're gonna get away with this?
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
I'm pissed
I'm pissed
I'm so pissed off
I'm so fucking pissed
Shit-for-brains asshole fuckface
You're a motherfucker and I hate you
Shit fuck hell damn shit fuck
You can eat the corn out of my shit
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
I'm pissed
I'm pissed
I'm so pissed off
I'm so fucking pissed
Pissed
Pissed
Pissed
I've been so mad lately